Objectivist Kid

Patient Children

2009-05-29T23:25:00.000-07:00

I wanted to share an interesting New Yorker article about research into being patient. An experiment allowed kids either to have one marshmallow, or to be patient and get two. Kids were filmed and the researcher found that the ones who managed to wait often adopted a specific technique to put the marshmallow out of their mind: covering their eyes, looking away, and so on. Ones who tried will-power -- even staring at it with determined resolution -- did not do as well. And then, there were some who did not even try.

Then, years later, the researcher did a follow-up survey. Parents of the "patient" kids reported significantly less problems at school (not surprising). However, he also found the "patient" group had SAT scores that averages 200 points higher than the group that could not wait.

Of course, this does not mean the "patient" group is somehow better off, nor that they will be more successful. I think this is one of those areas where neither stereotype is ideal, and that choosing between one or the other is most likely a false dichotomy.

The article has other interesting details: for instance, research into whether the ability to wait is "environmental" or "genetic". It's a long 6-pages, but thought-provoking for a parent.

HT: Carpe Diem

TV Censorship

2009-05-28T04:59:00.000-07:00

Z watches many of his TV shows over the internet these days. It is the modern way to"time shift". Channels like Cartoon network and Nickelodeon serve up videos on demand, with ads included.

Occasionally, he will go to some international site and watch a Japanese version. Sometimes this is because a Japanese (original) episode does not make it to the U.S. version. At other times because they're slightly different, and he wants to see the original.

He tells me about some of the differences.

In one Yu-Gi-Oh show, they mentioned that some guy had died. In the Japanese version, they actually showed him being smacked by a car.
Blood goes away in some U.S. episodes where it is gory in the Japanese ones (I guess cartoon violence is allowed for most TV rating categories if there's no blood and death; but if you have those two evil things you may not get the lower "Y7" ratings)
In one Japanese episode some evil scientist creates some pill to give him powers, but this was changed to something else in the U.S. version, and the wikis say it is because of the "drug reference"

Mostly silly changes like that!

Santa Claus

2009-01-02T05:55:00.000-08:00

Kim posted about Santa, and followed it up with another great post.

Some parents say Santa adds excitement to a child's Xmas. I think this is a cultural myth that people repeat without having introspected about their own growing up. I find no truth to this. I look back to my childhood and the only time mystery was associated with Santa was the time I suspected he didn't exist, asked my parents, was told he did, but smelt a rat in the way I was told it. This resulted in some excitement the next year as I tried to stay awake -- not to see Santa -- but to confirm that my parents were he.

So, yes, there was mystery once I suspected Santa was make-believe; but I remember no magic before that. I can look back at my discovery and relate to what Kim says about Hanover, using her logic and observation to figure out Santa does not exist.

It's unreasonable to expect a child to feel something special about Santa bringing gifts down the chimney if the child actually and completely believes that Santa is for real. To such a child, this is just like saying that dad comes down the chimney and places the gifts there. Obviously a child will be excited about presents. However, young children know so little about the world that Santa flying around is not magical at all, unless you tell them that it is.

In summary, the real fun and mystery don't come from the myth, but from the realization that that story is a yarn.

I would encourage parents to use the Santa myth in this fun way. On the other hand, I would strongly discourage parents from playing the game so well that the child has no clue that Santa is make-believe. The couple of stories I know of this kind have not ended well. Typically, another kid will reveal the truth, and your child will be left with a feeling of being let-down, and a feeling of being stupid. They will blame you, and you will be worthy of blame. It's a game: so, play it that way, and it'll be interesting; make it real, and it won't be as much fun. Ironical, but true.

In my own son, I've seen him be excited -- over the years -- about Thomas, and Spidey, and Batman, and Harry Potter. When a local fun-railroad did an annual Thomas event, with a blue-painted engine, my son always wanted to visit. When Spidey was posing outside the IMAX show of one of his movies, my son wanted to have his photo taken with Spidey. He, and the other kids attending the event were all excited. Yet, I doubt anyone of them believed that Thomas or Spidey was real.

Santa myths (think "Polar Express") project a certain type of benevolent world, where the people with the magical power can always fix things that go wrong, and will. I think this is what parents mean when they say "kids need a little magic". On this I agree with Kim 100%, when she says: "I think it mostly means that kids need to know that wonderful things are possible. What I really don't get is why wonderful things have to be unattainable without magic." (emphasis added)

In her follow-up post, Kim elaborates that parents who speak of magic want their kids to retain their innocence. I think this describes the underlying philosophy. Unfortunately, Santa and so on are pretty poor ways to achieve a benevolent world-view.

There is only one way to bring up a kid believing in a benevolent world: first, you have to believe it; second, you have to project it. I don't think you can project it convincingly if you fake it: not to your kid, who is with you so much. So, you have to think it is true. The second step is not fully automatic; it is distinct. You have to consciously explain your view to your child, and never abstractly; always implicitly via other concretes. [This raises so many more points: "what is benevolent world view", "how to project it?", but this post too long already.]

Imagine parents who are bitching about their "friends" in the hearing of their children, constantly being cynical about the world, and imputing evil motives too easily. Can Santa and the Easter bunny show their kids that benevolence is possible? I think it's like spraying room-freshener over a stink. And, what happens when the kid grows up and realizes that the myth is myth and the rest is real? At worst the grown-up kid is left with the lesson that benevolence is only possible in magic. What better ground-work can we lay for cynicism!

Finally, my proof is in my (10-year old) pudding. He has an extremely benevolent world-view. Among his his class-mates, there are some like him, but there are others who are very jaded and cynical. I know others among the benevolent group that found out about Santa early, as our son did. So, I rest my case!

Chores

2008-11-23T18:12:00.000-08:00

Ask a 9 year old: "who tidies up XXX in your classroom?". You might get a response like: "Mrs. Thomas makes us do it". A 5 year old's reply will be more like: "Mrs. Thomas lets us help". And, every parent knows how a "helpful" young kid can slow down the easiest of tasks.

Ironically, kids are most motivated to help with things where they cannot really very much. I think, it is in the nature of learning. If they know they can do something, there's no sense of acheivement left. If they've been there and done that, they lose interest, Instead, kids want to try their hand at tasks where they can achieve something.

With familiar things, there are some thing that Z still likes to do, only because he does them rarely: like making his own grilled-cheese sandwiches. Every now and then, he will remember that he can do that himself, and will get enthusiastic about it.

Today, he's making dinner for the whole family. I'm going to take a picture a little later and add it here. Okay... added. sorry it has a big chomp, but the cook insisted on tasting it, and wasn't patient enough to wait for the snap to be taken.

Constrained writing

2008-10-21T16:51:00.000-07:00

Z loves creative writing. He sometimes has English assignments to write a story, while using all words from a list of 10 or 15 words. Typically, the first couple of paragraphs are slightly artificial, as he tries to use all words from his list. Then, all used up, it is almost as if the little author gave a big sigh of relief and the story gets smooth and breezy.

The kid has a blog

2008-09-29T04:37:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I allowed Z to create a blog of his own on Blogger, but asked him to mark it "by invite only" for now. With his permission, I'm cross-posting his first post here. The style may seem not unfamiliar, but parents know that imitation with minor variation is the root of creativity. Without further ado, I present "phantaKid's" first blog post:

Title: Badminton
Today, I was playing badminton. I was having a conversation with dad:

Me: Remember that overly optimistic guy from The Series of Unfortunate Events? I think his name was Lenny or something.
Dad:Yup. He reminds me of Black Knight from Monty Python
Me: Oh yeah.
"Look, your arm's cut off!" says King Arthur.
"It's just a flesh wound," says the Black Knight.

Sponge Bob

2008-09-10T05:07:00.000-07:00

Z: Mr. Krabs is so obsessed with money. He'd rather poison his customers than throw out an old krabby-patty.
Dad: Yeah. That's funny. You know what he doesn't think about?
Z: ???
Dad: Who'll give him money tomorrow if his customers stay away or die?

I won't block the stereotypes, but I can plant some vaccinating thoughts.

Montessori Bells

2008-08-09T07:41:00.000-07:00

Someone has made a very simple, free online version of the "Montessori Bells" material. Thought I'd post the link here, in case any parents are interested. From the site:

"The purpose of the Montessori bells is to introduce children to
discrimination of musical sounds by pairing and ordering."

This link goes straight to the online demo (main site has instructions and downloadable version).

Update (Aug 13): Fixed URL

Z reads Anthem

2008-05-29T16:39:00.001-07:00

Z's fourth grade teacher is reading Anthem to the class -- out loud. He started by saying that Ayn Rand wrote against socialism, and that the book was relevant today because of the direction in which the country was headed.

Kids judging adults

2008-05-20T17:48:00.000-07:00

Mariposario has an interesting post about her child's encounter with an obnoxious teacher. I think it must be a bit of a let down for kids to encounter adults who are like that. Still, it's an important thing for them to learn about the world.

To very young kids, adults can seem omniscient. How can adults be wrong? When our son was around 5, we had to explain how we differed from his teacher about God. We never made a big deal about it. When they're that young, I think it's important to break it to them without contradicting their "benevolent universe" view.

A few years later, he began to understand that adults differ on a wider variety of issues. As kids move up from one class to the next, they learn that their teachers can be quite different. We would chat with him about the differences in his teachers, talking about their pros and cons. We also began to throw into the mix the fact that there would be times when he knows better than an adult, even if the situation demands he do as the adult says.

All in all it is a good way for kids to start learning about judging people, and about acting on that judgement. Judging people is not about classifying them along a single axis, but a little more textured that that. That's something kids need to learn. They also need this practice in becoming confident about judging others.

Science fair

2008-05-03T15:12:00.000-07:00

Z's school had a "science fair". Students perform an experiment at home, and present their findings at the fair.

He had a truck roll down a ramp. Steeper inclines made the truck roll longer distances.

Making the truck heavier, with a roll of quarters, also made it roll longer.

We even had one unanticipated result: when we did the experiment on carpet, the heavier truck actually rolled less. I suppose the surface of the carpet resists heavier trucks more than it does lighter ones.

At first, I was sceptical of the idea of a science fair, but it ended up being a good exercise in the process of experimenting. As the lab-director, I insisted that my scientist repeat each experiment three times, and use only the median result, to leave out errors, e.g. a shaken hand, or an incorrect reading. After over 100 separate observations, Galileo needed some chocolate milk.

28N / 77E

2008-02-07T11:43:00.000-08:00

Z is learning about latitude and longitude. So, I gave him an idea for a game. He liked it, and we played it yesterday.

First, we have a reference card with the names of 5 cities, from all over the world, with their latitude and longitude written down.

One person takes up an atlas (Goode's is good), finds a fairly well known city, and says it's latitude and longitude.
The other person has to guess the city. They can consult the reference card.
If you guess wrong, you're told "Go East", or "Go North-West", etc.
You get three guesses. Three points for getting it on the first guess, 1 for the third guess.

Running out of dreams

2008-02-07T11:31:00.001-08:00

Sometimes (rarely) Z will have a nightmare and require a few minutes of comforting. The other night, a call from the son, and a prod from the wife and I stumbled to his room, trying to move from irritated woken sleeper to comforting father.

Me: Hey sweetie, had a nightmare?
Z: No, I had three good dreams, but they woke me up.
Me: Why did you call out, then?
Z: I didn't have any more dreams to go to sleep with.

Bulbasaur for President!

2008-01-17T05:16:00.000-08:00

Z: George Washington was a bit like Bulbasaur.

Me: Really? Why is that?
Z: When others wanted to quarrel and fight, he was good at peace-making.

(This was after he heard about how Washington tried to walk a line between Hamilton etc. and Jefferson etc.)

Talk about integration!

I say: "Bulbasaur for President!"

Economics for 9 year olds

2008-01-14T17:53:00.000-08:00

Z's teachers does one lecture on economics every week.

The other day, he had to study some material for a review test, and asked me to quiz him. To my surprise the first question was something like: "How does rent-control cause shortages of housing". I'd say he simply does not have the context, and this is a hierarchy-breaking lesson. Anyhow, I'll take comfort that he's not being asked "Why should the proletariat own all means of production?" or "In what parts of the economy can the government be most helpful?"

In a little chat, I found out that his teacher had told them that the government can become like "Big Brother" (in the usual negative sense), and had also told them that when the government sets out to do something, it usually does it inefficiently.

I suppose there's some advantage to living in the mid-west, where people are skeptical of government.

Must stay Awake!

2007-12-23T19:55:00.000-08:00

He was going to stay awake, he decided.

Ah! So comfortable to lie all bundled up, in his bed, in fleece pajamas, under a fleece blanket, with the warm radiator just a foot away. The dinner had been so delicious, that he’d eaten too much, leaving no room for pudding. He had looked at the pudding in front of him and thought, “I’m too full”, and he had thought, “That looks delicious”, and he had eaten two helpings. Now, all he wanted to do was sleep. “Must stay awake”, he reminded himself.

He could hear Reuben’s breathing, where he lay on the carpet, by the foot of his bed. Deep breathing of peaceful doggy dreams, deep, deep in doggy sleep. Maybe Reuben was dreaming of the special treat he had just eaten at dinner, the yummy meal of roast goose he’d shared with the family. Did dogs dream? Was Spot dreaming of what present he would get? Maybe a new collar? Maybe a new blanket to chew on? Whatever it was, it had made Reuben comfortable, and he was breathing steadily, slowly, deeply, rhythmically, in… out, in… out, like a slow lullaby whispering, “Go to sleep… go to sleep… peace and quiet… go to sleep”. “Got to keep my eyes open”, he reminded himself again.

He could hear the sounds of the house preparing to go to bed. The soft monotonous swish of the dish-washer, swish-swosh, swish-swosh. Clicks, as his mom turned off lights. Then, a few soft creaks of the stairs and his mom came into his room. “Still awake?”, she asked, bending down to kiss his cheek, “go to sleep, sweetheart, tomorrow is going to be a busy day”. She kissed him again and left. He felt his eyelids heavy, but did not close them. He heard some soft footsteps on the carpet, and his dad came in. “Shut those eyes, little man, big day tomorrow.” A kiss on the forehead, a “goodnight”. Comfort, ah comfort. So, very, sleepy now. “Must not sleep”, he said to himself.

A few minutes later, as a Santa-like figure stole some presents down to the tree, she heard the soft breathing of the dog, answered by the soft breathing of her son.

More poetry

2007-11-22T08:48:00.000-08:00

Z likes to write. A little while back, he was always trying to compose poetry. Now, he's keener on constructing short stories.

Here is one of his compositions (co-authored with a pal of his), that goes... "I'm bored, I'm bored... I can't afford a Ford".
To listen, click here.

And, to entertain Tenure, here's one of Z and "objDad" together. I think this is a Dr. Seuss poem. The poem is about a lady who had 23 sons, "and she named them all Dave"!

[Copyright: It's probably still in copyright, so I won't reproduce the text. I figure the recitation is in the vein of a small "fair use" performance played for "friends and family", and I'll likely take it down in a little while anyway.]

The Lamplighter - by R.L.Stevenson

2007-11-09T20:44:00.000-08:00

RationalJenn posted the poem "Lamplighter" by R.L.Stevenson; a cute little poem that reminds her of her son, as it does me of mine. A little over a year ago, the little "Z" nerd recorded quite a few poems. This was one of them... it starts as a poem and morphs into a sing-song :) .

Here it is.

Reasoning to kids: Tenure's questions

2007-10-10T18:00:00.000-07:00

In response to an earlier post, Tenure asked:

You often say how you have these 'talks' with your son, but then you also say that you can't reason with children, that they'll just listen to anything you say.

To clarify, a kid starts reasoning somewhere around 4 or 5 (if memory serves me right), and at 9 -- my son's age -- the basic process of reasoning is well established. However, I think there's a vital component that's missing, and will come only (I'm guessing) somewhere in the teens.

The most important thing that is missing for a younger child is: adequate context, adequate known truths and untruths, adequate knowledge. Without such knowledge, the child does not question many premises he is given. An older child may be puzzled by some premise, because it does not integrate with his existing knowledge; but, a younger doesn't have the background to spot the contradictions (he is not aware of the contradictory "counter premise").

A rational adult, learning some new information, integrates it with all sorts of existing information that he already knows. In contrast, the young child accepts it, but the acceptance is a bit shaky, because there is far less else to which it is integrated, at that stage of his life. The new knowledge is not "well rooted".

To the extent that reasoning is the entire process of integrating knowledge, the 4th grader is at a disadvantage, even though he does not lack too much in the specific area of deductive ability.

Tenure also asks:

Two questions:

1) Have you ever had to be authoritarian with your son, because he just didn't understand something, "Don't do that - BECAUSE I SAY SO!"?

First, "ever" is too wide. What I mean is: parents are sometimes tired, distracted, etc. etc. -- so, parents can sometimes be unreasonable, or simply go "off plan" in one way or another. So, let's narrow it to cases where I'm acting thoughtfully, and ask whether -- being thoughtful -- it is still sometimes best to go with "... because I say so."

The answer to that is: yes and no. Yes, a parent often has to insist on some behavior; but, not the way it is framed in the question. There are many times we demand that our son do something that he does not want to do. However, when we're thoughtful about it, we always give him a reason. He may not fully understand the reason, or he may understand the reason but not "get" the "value" to himself. Nevertheless, when we may force him to act, he still has some type of intellectual understanding of our reason for insisting.

For instance, a simple example might be: "Yes, you have to wear a jacket, because it's cold".

However, if it's a conversation that one has had many times before, it might be truncated to: "Yes, you have to wear a jacket", because the kid already knows why.

On the other hand, if there's time, and he and I are in the right mood, it might become an extended conversation: "Do you know at what temp we keep the a/c during summer?" "No." "Usually, it's somewhere between 68 and 72 degrees F; lower than 68 can get a bit chilly. Well, the temperature outside is 47 right now, and it's only going to be 52 at noon recess; that's more than 10 degrees cooler than our cool a/c". (That last is a conversation from this morning.)

2) At what age does a kid start to reason, and if he isn't really reasoning, is providing a rational environment the best you can do? What does that entail?

I think the quick-ref guide goes roughly like this:

Walk at one
Talk at two
Reason at ... sometime later... ??? four ??? I forget

The exact time is not so important, here, because that's the time they start, not when they're competent. Anyway, I think the first part of the question is mostly answered above.

As for providing a rational environment, it mostly entails being rational. If there has to be a single answer to the question: "how can I make my child become like Mr. X?", it is this: you act like Mr. X yourself. There's no guarantee, of course, but it's the route with the best chance of success. Only after having a kid, and meeting his little pals, and meeting their parents, did I realize how strongly young, pre-teen kids emulate their parents.

Not having the typical irrational imperatives of religion and social-conformity, makes it that much easier to be a good example of rationality.

Personally, if I had to vote for a second most important thing, it would be: try to have the kid in as rational a school environment as possible.

Little Super Admin

2007-10-04T12:50:00.000-07:00

Kids often imitate their parents. So, it's no surprise that Z uses so much software. He started on Word and Excel years ago. Next, he wanted Microsoft Money, because he wanted to make "his own accounts". At first all imaginary, but now he's started to use some of it to keep track of his cash. (His net worth is a little over $200.)

Then, he was curious about web-based software. So, I also set up a Content Management system on a private web-site for him to post his creative-writing, poems etc. He loves playing with the administrative stuff, changing skins and so on.

Since I help to administer a forum, he asks about that. ("Dad you're the second highest poster...if you post another 80 posts, you can beat D.O., and you'll also get a 6th star against your ID.") After fielding a lot of questions, I finally set up a little forum for him (on a private site): with him and two parents as the members. A couple of older cousins signed up, but didn't bother to post. He loves using the Admin stuff: creating new sub-forums, and even issuing warnings to one of us, for some imagined infraction. Every now and then he'll plead: "Can you please post to my forum; I'm the only one posting there!"

At 9, religion comes knocking once more

2007-09-26T19:31:00.000-07:00

Background: In an earlier post, I spoke of a teacher telling my son about God when he was 5, and how he got past that. In the intervening years, his teachers said grace before lunch, but there was little other religion at school. At any rate, we've never been concerned that someone will indoctrinate him; our real concern has been that he will tell some teacher that they're stupid for believing in God.

We checked back with him when he was about 7, and he told us that his friends were very confused that he had no religion. He seemed a bit exasperated at their ignorance, but nothing else. Now, a few years later, and a few grades older, he's had another teacher-encounter.

School Prayer: This episode began with some discipline problems in the school's "upper elementary" grades. The principal reasoned that some kids needed to learn values. Unfortunately, in his mind "good" is something that comes from religion. Not wanting to evangelize his own Catholic faith, he decided that he should encourage children to explore their own religions. The means would be this: grace would not be said by a teacher; in the older classes, children would be expected to say grace. They were expected to ask their families for prayers from their own religions. Everyone was welcome: Christians, Buddhists, Muslims, Hindus. Unsurprisingly, he simply did not consider that some people might be atheists.

When our son told us this, we asked if he wanted us to do something about it and he said he didn't. He said he was going to make up some prayers. That had us a bit concerned, and so we had another long chat about religion.

Another chat about religion: By now, he had studied Greek myths. So, I used that as an example of why ancient people came up with the idea of a God of Lighting, and a God of the Sun. I told him about some Indian myths, and we had a good laugh at the idea that the sun was going around the earth because it was on the chariot of some God. That's so funny...and the sun does not even go around the Earth in the first place! Still, it's easy to see how people might have made those types of mistakes. There was more... but, at the end of it, I was satisfied that he wasn't confused at all. He was pretty clear that he was right, but he did not see religion as something adversarial -- so, he looked at his principal's request like he might some other apparently pointless request -- if the boss want it done, ... whatever.

We let it go at that... but then, there was a part-2...

Commandments: The principal decided to create a code of conduct, and came to explain what it was all about. He asked the class to do an exercise. He wanted them to think about the main rules of their religion, and write those rules out as an assignment.

So, little Z's hand shoots up.

"Yes, Z?" the principal asks.

"What if you're an atheist like me", Z asks. "What rules should I write?"

I'd have loved to have seen the principal's face :)

He came back with: "Research the rules of some well-known religion, and write those."

In case anyone is wondering, we've had some discussion about the relationship between values and religion, and the possibility of having values without religion, but at 9, his learning in this sphere comes primarily via emulation, not via abstract ideas. I tried offering to teach my son what some good rules were, and why. He wasn't interested. His assignment was to research some religion, and he insisted that he was going to write out the 10-commandments and present those.

That should make good "chat" material. I suppose I should thank the principal somewhat for triggering it! :)

A 5 year old encounters religion

2007-09-24T19:03:00.000-07:00

Z goes to a school owned by a deeply Catholic family, where the walls are adorned with a few icons, but Christianity is not part of the curriculum. Whilemost of the teachers are Catholic, a majority of the children are not Christian. Apart for some Christian stories around Christmas or Easter, his teachers never attempted any religious indoctrination. We chose the school because it's merits greatly outweighed these (and other) negatives.

Around kindergarten was the first time Z mentioned God. I think he suddenly made some type of matter-of-fact comment that God was listening to us, because He is everywhere. It was not easy for him to understand when I told him this was not true. It was the first time he was being told two different things by a teacher and a parent, and had to decide whom to believe.

For a few weeks, he tested the idea. In different contexts, he would ask again whether God was around, of whether he was seeing, or whether he was listening, or some such question. It was as if he was trying to check if my rejection was limited to some particular context... which would allow him to reconcile it with his teacher's assertions.

Apart from repeating each time, I also repeated it as a generalization, and also explained that there was no reason to think God was doing... whatever. In addition, I tried to make clear that I was not ignorant of his teacher's views. I explained that many people have believed in God for a long time, and many people -- like his teacher -- still do.

At 5, kids might appear to reason, but they really accept almost everything on trust. You can tell a 5-year old that you once lived in a house where coca-cola came out of the faucet, and if he trusts you, and if no other adult contradicts you, he will believe you. It is still important to give a child reasons, so that they understand the pattern in which they should approach thought; but, one should also realize that your reasons are not being "understood" in the adult sense. This is why it's important that your kindergartner trusts you completely.

After a few weeks, Z accepted the idea that his parents were right and his teacher was wrong, and it didn't seem to bother him any more. He was left with one final injunction from us. "You're still too young to fully understand this", we told him. "You think we're right and you're believing us, but some adults like your teacher feel very strongly about this, and you should not challenge her about this in class. When you're a bit older, you can tell your teachers that they are wrong."

That little episode at 5 carried him smoothly through the next 4 years. Now, at 9, we had a second episode... but that's a tale for another post.

Turtle

2007-07-13T04:02:00.000-07:00

A turtle came wandering into the yard yesterday. First time we've seen one from the pond near our home. Photographer Z pulled out his personal Nikon 4600 and shot a few photos. Here's one.

I'm bored

2007-07-11T09:25:00.001-07:00

Kids can be bored they have nothing to do for a few minutes:

Conversation from yesterday:
Z: Summer school is fun, except for the first half hour.
Mom: Why? What happens then?
Z: There's nothing to do. I'm so bored.

A conversation, one day later:
Dad: I'm going in late today. Should I drop you off later?
Z: No, we have a lot of fun in the first half hour.
Dad: But, didn't you tell mom that...
Z: Well, we realized we could play wodge-ball.
Dad: Dodge-ball?
Z: No, wodge-ball. It's like dodge-ball, but we play it near the wall!

Sometimes, the solution to a kids boredom is to offer some examples of what they might do. Sometimes, one just has to say: "well, think about what you can do". And, finally, sometimes it's best to say nothing, and they'll solve their own problem.

Taller than mommy

2007-06-24T14:49:00.000-07:00

For a while now, Z has been fascinated by the likelihood that he'll grow taller than mommy some day. What's really interesting, though, is that he doesn't want to grow taller than dad. Just as tall, but no taller. I suspect there's a little bit of fear there: fear of being the tallest (a.k.a. "biggest') in the family.

Making Generalizations about "better"

2007-03-03T07:41:00.000-08:00

Z: I prefer books by that publisher.
Dad: Why are they better?
Z: I don't know.
Dad: Well, in what way are they different?
Z: Oh! Other publishers have maybe an illustration at the start of each chapter, but this publisher has many illustrations inside the chapters.

I think it is interesting . He explained why he liked one better (i.e. why they were better for him), but he could not say why they were better as such.

When kids are speaking and starting to reason, but still in kindergarten or first grade, they're prone to hasty generalization. I think the conversation above reflects a (third grader's) new unspoken caution in drawing generalizations. He's clear about his knowledge within his own context, but is not assuming that to be necessarily applicable to a wider context.

Little Spidey

2007-03-02T05:15:00.000-08:00

Z wanted a web site, so I set something up for him. he wanted me to contribute content, so I came up with this limerick.

Once there was a lad
Who wasn't quite so bad;
Indeed, he was the apple of my eye.

But, when he's spider man
Ouch! He'll punch as hard he can
For evil, cruel Doctor Ock am I.

April Fool's Day: Ideas for pranks

2007-02-12T11:59:00.000-08:00

Our son's class was specutating about pranks their teacher could play on them for April Fool's Day. Two interesting ideas:

Idea 1: Give students squids with the ink-part intact, so that they get squirted with ink. (I'm not sure if anyone other than a teacher of a parent can appreciate the difference between an idea like "squirk ink on them" and "use an unclean squid so that they get squirted with ink". I find this to be a thoughtful and educated prank for a group of 8-year olds.)

Idea 2: Give them square-root problems to solve and tell them to do them in their heads, but choose ones are can't be done in their heads. Then watch them struggle. (I don't think I knew about square-roots when I was 8.)

Ketchup Patterns

2007-02-11T06:15:00.000-08:00

It started years ago as a way to make my son laugh. When I squeeze ketchup on his plate, I usually draw something: a smiley-face, a word , a symbol (e.g. a heart if it's Valentine's day). Getting philosophic about it, it's pretty cool to pack fill one's life with little values like that.

Strikes me that this is the kind of thing Martha Stewart was teaching, in principle, in a different setting. It just a little bit of added fun to something that's otherwise unspectacular. It's "a good thing", as long as it remains a non-sacrificial value. That's to say, the enjoyment you get from it is worth the effort that goes into it.

As for the "Sat" in the picture here, what can I say... it was an early breakfast and my mind was sluggish. It was Saturday.. so, "Sat" it was.

Inducing PI

2006-12-16T06:06:00.000-08:00

At Z's school, they were taught how to measure the circumference of cylinders. They do this by marking a point on the circumference and then rolling the cylinder along a straight line until the marked point touches down again. Then, they take the flat side and measure the diameters off against the same line. They've done this for a whole lot of circles. Every time they do that, they see that it takes about 3 diameter-lengths to cover the length of the circumference. Now, they're dividing the circumference by the diameter and finding that all the numbers are approximately 3.14. Finally, they had a lesson in the meaning of PI.

Hasty Generalization

2006-12-12T17:17:00.000-08:00

After they've learnt words and sentences, kids go on to reason. They start forming knowledge of the form "All A is B", i.e. principles. For the first few years, they have a tendency toward hasty generalization. For instance, a kid who has never seen a male elementary teacher can easily conclude: "All elementary teachers are female".

I've encountered many examples of this in my son. Often, individual examples come as a surprise to me -- a reminder of how little he knows about the world.

When he was about 6 we were talking about the ryhme, "Rain rain go away", and he commented that it sometimes works! Presumably he'd been experimenting! I realized that if a kid sang that song a few times when it rained, and it stopped raining even once, he might draw the conclusion that "it sometimes works", even if he's not sure exactly when: could it be the volume, the tone, getting the words just right?

When my son was really small I used to think to myself that small kids are so much like little animals, only much less self-sufficient. Around 6 and 7, one gets a glimpse of how primitive men must think. It's only a glimpse, because our kids are provided with so many true facts now, that they believe the right things. However, in an instance like this "rain, go away" example, one sees a little sliver of hasty generalization.

From Journaling to Planning

2006-12-12T06:00:00.000-08:00

In Z's school, elementary kids fill up a few lines in a journal near the end of the day. It's a list of things they did that day. Now, in 3rd grade, Z decided that he will make a list in his journal in the morning -- the plan of things he was going to do that day. Then, at the end of the day, he checks it off, scratches out what he didn't, and adds in any extras.

The thing I find interesting is that he was not asked to do this. From what he says, he did not see any other kid doing it. I would not be too certain of this type of self-reported fact; nevertheless, there is no requirement or push for him to continue to do it. So, what I find interesting is that he must "get" something from it. Probably he gets something similar to what an adult would get: a sense of control over his activities for the day.

Mommy is Omniscient

2006-11-22T14:19:00.000-08:00

Little kids seem to think that their parents are omniscient. Sometimes, they'll see something when their parents are not in the room; but, they'll simply assume that their parents have seen it too. It's an age when they do not fully grasp that observation is an active process. I've seen this in kids under 3. Even around 4, I remember my son sometimes lapsing into this: like he forgot that I would not have observed something just because he did.

(I wonder if the behavior where young kids hide their faces and think they're hidden is related to this.)

One of the fascinating things about being a parent is seeing a human's thinking develop. Being an Objectivist, I'd always accepted the idea that humans are born tabula-rasa. However, when one has kid, then one really sees the concretization of this... there are so many instances when I've been surprised that something was not simply "obvious" to my child... in simple things like the identification of shape and color and so on.

If I'd had the time to journal it all, it might have been a useful book!

Too much TV?

2006-10-24T06:15:00.000-07:00

Other than his story-writing in MS-Word, Z also keeps spreadsheets and an MS-Money file, and plays pretend stuff with those. His Excel spreadsheet has tabs that are similar to the spreadsheet I use for a budget.

The other day, he was asking about something I was doing and I showed how I could sort expenses to see what category was highest, which led to this conversation:

Me: See, so taxes is the biggest number, even more than we spend on this house.
Z: Then you better not vote for Marva Armstrong.
Me: Who?
Z: Marva Armstrong will raise your taxes.
Me: I'm not sure. I don't know who she is, but her opponents will say those things. You can't believe it all.
Z: Well, she wants to raise taxes on movies-tickets and restaurants and stuff

A few days later, I caught the same TV ad!

Little Researcher

2006-10-20T06:20:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned before, Z loves to read and also loves to write. The other day he said to me that maybe he'd like to grow up to be a researcher.

"What type?" I asked, "researchers usually research some subject, like History or Biology and so on."

"I was to research all sorts of stuff, to make books like these for children", he replied, holding up a copy of 'Great Mammals of the Ocean'.

Today, asked, "What sites on the internet can I go to, to do some research?", and before I could answer, he added, "Oh! yes, I know. I can simply go to Google and search". And, with that, he was off.

I should check that Google's "safe filtering" is set to "strict" on all three computers, because he flits from one to another.

Book worm

2006-10-12T05:23:00.000-07:00

Z loves books. Yes, he loves to read, but that's not all I mean. He actually loves books, in an almost physical way. He pores over them and notes all sorts of little details: like the stuff about Library of Congress, whether it has a dust-jacket, how the contents are organized, whether chapters always start on a new page, how the pages are numbered.

He sometimes says that he's considering being an author when he grows up (because "creative writing" is his favorite subject in school). He will sometimes sit for hours at the computer creating "books". If one looks closely, though, an adult would conclude that his real career is going to be as a typesetter, printer, page-designer, editor, or publisher.

He does not just pore over his own books. He loves poring over mine too. He will take any book I'm reading and study it. He doesn't read it, but he'll study various aspects of these "big people's" (i.e. more real) books. Sometimes, he'll remember some crazy detail like: "Dad, wait, let me check" (runs away and comes back with an investment book I was reading four months ago), "Yes, I thought I remembered that. See, this book also has a chapter called 'Mister Market'".

Yesterday, he told me that one of my books was completely superfluous. "You don't need this book", he said, "because everything in it is in other books you have". Turns out that he had just gone through my "Ayn Rand Sampler" and cross-checked that all the essays were from books that I already own!

Teaching someone to fish

2006-09-29T10:33:00.000-07:00

While driving Z to school, we have some cool conversations. Here is one, prompted by something the guy on the radio said...

Dad: Which one is better for the guy who is teaching?
Z: To teach him to fish.
Dad:Why?
Z: So, he does not need to keep fishing for the other guy.
Dad:And, what about for the other guy, not the fisherman, but the guy who wants fish. What's better for him?
Z: Hmm! Maybe, for someone to give him fish?
Dad:Why?
Z: So he does not have to do it himself?
Dad:Yes, that's one way to look at it. So, let's take an example. In your class, you third-graders help the first graders with their creative writing tasks, right? (It's a mixed-grade class, and at the beginning of the year, the third graders teach the younger ones lots of stuff.)
Z: Yup.
Dad:And you were saying that S is lucky, because his first-grader already knows how do do stuff?
Z: Yup.
Dad:Now, if you remember being a first grader, would you like to be doing the creative writing on your own, or would you want to be asking for help?
Z: On my own.
Dad:Is it more fun doing creative writing on your own, or not knowing how and getting help?
Z: Doing it on your own.
Dad:It's the same with fishing, people like to fish. It isn't about fishing. Doing stuff and being occupied makes us happy. We want to rest, but mostly we like being busy. That's just how we are.

Summer Camp

2006-08-18T06:51:00.000-07:00

Summer camp time is over. Last year was a couple weeks Soccer, 1 week of "Camp Invention" and the YMCA's park-picnics for most of the rest. This year, there was a bit of the Y, but the rest was more varied, they included:

Photography
Computer games
Computer programming
How is that made?
Clay modeling
Garbage

All in all, it was better than the Y -- less tedious. The bunch of kids that attend these camps (at a "school for gifted kids (sic))" are a more intellectual lot: they play chess in their breaks, where the Y did not have chess boards.

We're not too impressed with this school. The advantage of putting a kid there would be that they'd be with more intellectually motivated kids of parents who have educational aims more in line with ours. That is an advantage. However, the school itself has not impressed me with any special attitude toward education.

There are some airports where folks hold flying camps for kids as young as 13 years old. Still a way away, but that really would be cool!

A poem, just for fun

2006-07-23T15:17:00.000-07:00

Z loves to recite and compose poetry. Here we are reciting someone else's poem titled "What is Orange?"

BBQ is religion

2006-06-14T05:01:00.000-07:00

Metaphors and idioms aren't obvious to kids...

Z: Daddy, is BBQ a religion?
Dad: Hmmm... why do you ask?
Z: This book is called "BBQ Bible"

Favorites

2006-05-12T14:28:00.000-07:00

Z is getting ready for school, when dad walks in...

Dad: I'm going to hang these shirts in your closet, do you want to wear either of them now?"
Z: "Give me the white one."
Dad: "I thought the blue one was your favorite?"
Z: "It is; that's why I'm keeping it for Thursday. That's my favorite day."
Dad: "Oh"

Z's class does "Creative Writing" on Thursdays, that's why that's his favorite day. When he was really small, he used to say "all my toys are my favorites".

Here are some of Z's favorites:

Color: Blue
Letter: A (second favorite is "Z")
Digit: 4
Soup: Tom Ka Gai
Subject: Creative Writing (then Math)

Fight me!

2006-05-06T19:27:00.000-07:00

Dad: Ouch!
Z punches again.
Dad: (actually noticing) That hurt; what's going on?
Z: Fight me daddy!
Dad: Not now, Z.
Z: Fight me a little.
Dad: Later
Z: At least scare me a little.

You talk to a kid like that???!!!

2006-04-27T10:13:00.000-07:00

Why do parents complain that their 5 year old is not learning the alphabet? These are well-educated parents. They aren't a single exception either. A five year old! Why would a parent treat a child like that and wait so long? The only explanation I can think of is this: they think it's the teacher's job.

I don't treat my child as an adult; a conversation with him is always a conversation with a child. However, I always push his limit just a tiny bit. Often, in conversation with him I'll introduce some tiny thing that only makes sense because of the way it fits with the rest of the conversation: a new word, a new integration, additional reasoning. I throw it in, and he usually "gets it". And I pause and give him a short commentary. It isn't artificial, it just comes naturally -- like if a ball was on the ground I might show him how to kick it.

A lot of our conversations are in the car, as he's being ferried to or from school. Here's a snippet from yesterday:

Z: So, daddy, is "Costco" the company and "Kirkland" the brand?
Me: Yes.
Z: What about "Kirkland Signature", is "Signature" a brand?
... ... 3 minutes of conversation snipped ... ...
Z: So, "Costco" is the company but it's also the brand?
Me: Yup
Z: And "Kirkland" and "Kirkland Signature" are just brands?
Me: That's right
Z: And "Kirland Signature" is like a sub-brand of "Kirkland"?
Me: You got it!

I'm proud of his capacity to understand and integrate; but, that's not my point here. Quite the contrary. I have many examples that demonstrate that -- intellectually -- he's a very average 7 year old. It is the dumbed-down kids who are abnormal.

Prince Caspian

2006-01-06T05:12:00.000-08:00

[Narrated by dad, using Z's "voice"]
I am Prince Caspian, with a sword and sheild. I like the new version of "The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe" better than the old one. I still need to see the older version for the other Narnia stories. I was watching "Prince Caspian and the Voyage of the Dawn Treader", while wearing a crown on my head (not in picture) and I had a sword. (That's not a frisbee, it is a sheild.)

Experiment

2006-01-06T05:08:00.000-08:00

[Narrated by dad, using Z's "voice"]
Mr. C's class is lots of fun. On the first day of each year, he does a volcano experiment. He pours some stuff into a model volcano, and fake lava comes out. We do other experiments too. So, I decided to do an experiment of my own. I put lots of stuff into water, and I'm going to keep it there and see what happens.

My own Font

2005-12-20T09:25:00.000-08:00

[Narrated by dad, using Z's "voice"]

I was making a sign for my room, so I decided to try making my own type of font. I like the way I did the "M" in the second one: all pointy!

Dad's post: Volition

2005-12-18T13:28:00.000-08:00

Recently there was a discussion on the ObjectivismOnline.net forum about volition.

I was reminded of it today, and I thought it was funny...

Flipping through channels, I hit one that was playing "Lord of the Rings". A group of people were sitting around the ring, and one of them said: "The only choice we have, is to destroy the ring."

Seemed like a fitting line to me. But then, my son, piped up saying: "Then, that's no choice at all!"

I hope he doesn;t unlearn at 17 what he knows at 7.

I'm going to be a boss

2005-11-30T06:58:00.000-08:00

[Narrated by dad, using Z's "voice"]

Our class has 1st graders, 2nd graders and 3rd graders. We all get jobs for the week: neaten the bookshelves, go out with Mr. C to water the plants, take out the musical instruments...stuff like that.

Now I'm a second-grader. So, some week I will get to be job-boss. It will be my job to check that everyone remembers their own jobs.

Ferris Wheel

2005-10-23T07:53:00.000-07:00

[Narrated by dad, using Z's "voice"]
My " Wordly Wise" book had a comprehension lesson about the London Eye. It is a huge Ferris Wheel in London. I don't think it could be that much fun, because it takes half and hour to make one circle. If you buy two tickets and give it to the ticket-checker, I wonder if they'll let you ride for one hour.

I also learnt that the Ferris Wheel was invented by Mr. Ferris in 1893. Daddy says that in India, they used to call them "Giant Wheels".

School Journal

2005-10-13T04:52:00.000-07:00

[Narrated by dad, using Z's "voice"]
We each have a journal where we wirte the things we did in school that day. Here are some entries from my journal.

Oct 6th:

Research
SRA
Math, division card in my head
Land and Water formations
Creative Writing: My Super Sundae
No Espanol today. I'm sad :(

Oct 7th:

Research
Math facts quiz
Map
Spelling quiz
Math
SRA: What if ice didn't float?
Espanol in Upper Elementary

Oct 10th:

No school, Yay!
It's Columbus Day!

My drive to school

2005-10-06T14:07:00.000-07:00

[Narrated by dad, using Z's "voice"]
We went by mummy's office on the way to school because she forgot her lunch at home. Now I know which building she's in. I knew it was one of the white buildings. It is the third one. It has three floors. The parking lot has a 15 MPH speed limit. There's also a side exit out of the parking lot... easier on the way back to school. By that exit, the main road has two lanes and is 25MPH. Then, it becomes 4 lanes and 40 MPH.

Daddy said: "Very interesting, Z, my little sponge."

I love winter

2005-10-06T00:12:00.000-07:00

Z: I love winter. I can play in the snow.

About this blog

2005-09-29T14:59:00.000-07:00

This is my son's blog. No, not really his, he's just 7 years old. I wanted to chronicle some of the little things that I'd have fun remembering later (like a memory-album).

Sometimes, I use a 'faux voice' that supposedly is his, because I think it can better express some of his attitudes and reasoning. Someday, he'll have a real blog of his own.

As for the title, 7 year olds are not Objectivist (the anarchist little tykes!), the original by-line 'my dad reads Ayn Rand' describes the extent of my son's philosophical leanings.

Google Maps

2005-09-29T11:49:00.000-07:00

Z likes playing with Google Earth. Sometimes he "drives" to his friends' houses, sometimes to school. He's learning the roads around here. He thinks it's fun.

A TV is not really real

2005-09-23T11:24:00.000-07:00

Today Z said to me: "When I was young, I thought the TV was like a window. I thought if the screen broke, I could go and meet those people."

Forums

2005-09-18T06:52:00.000-07:00

Z: Daddy, what is that called.
Dad: It's a forum.
Z: Why do you use it so much?
Dad: I probably use it too much.
Z: For what?
Dad: It's a bit like eMail. It let's you talk to people. Everyone talks and you can see what everyone is saying. Like a room full of people.

Z likes the forum because it has an icon of a red-faced smiley banging his head against a wall. Some people have pictures with their names. The dancing mouse was funny. The lady who uses it, says it's not a mouse, it's was a hamster.

Z uses most of the programs that daddy does, including Word and Excel. He even pretend to be an accountant, withhis own version of MS-Money. He has millions in his account. He thinks it's fun!

Our car is 5 feet high

2005-09-16T11:25:00.000-07:00

[Narrated by dad, using Z's "voice"]
I cannot see over the roof of our car. Daddy can. I'm four feet. He's six. So, our car must be about 5 feet high.

Harry Potter

2005-08-28T19:47:00.000-07:00

Mom: Where did my apron go?
Dad: Harry Potter's wearing it.
Mom: Who?
Dad: It's Harry Potter's cloak.

I can go REALLY fast

2005-08-24T23:40:00.000-07:00

[Narrated by dad, using Z's "voice"]

In our subdivision the speed limit is 20 MPH. On on main road it is 30 MPH. On the other mainroad it is 45 MPH. When we go south, it changes to 25MPH. I think it is because the road is windy and narrow. I know most of the speed limits near my house.

I love driving my car. Daddy removed the safety setting. Now, I can go really fast now. Daddy thinks it now goes at 5 MPH.

Its a swamp

2005-08-13T20:36:00.000-07:00

[Narrated by dad, using Z's "voice"]

Our house (and thirty others) are on a little pond. So, when we went to Toys'R us to buy my "monthly toy", daddy said he was also going to buy a radio-controlled boat.

Daddy put it in the pond and moved the lever on the remote. It started fast, but began to slow down. Daddy turned it around. It went slower and slower. Then it stopped. It was still too far to reach. Daddy didn't like my idea. "No!" he said, "don't wade in there. I'll try another way."

Mom: "You're going to throw electric cable in the lake!"
Z: "We don't have a fishing rod".

The first few times, the cable missed the boat and came up with lots of green stuff -- looked like sea-weed. Daddy said that's why the boat must have slowed and stopped -- there must be weeds around the propeller. Yes, it was weeds.

Dad: "We live on a swamp".
Z: "That's funny".
Mom didn't think so!